Have you ever had a day where your grief just all of the sudden hits you as hard as it did the first time you received the bad news? Today is one of those days for me. I have been at my desk for two hours today trying my damnest to blink back as many tears as possible over my infertitlity. Its old news, so I am not sure why today is such a hard day.
I'm starting to wonder if I set myself up for failure. I set a mythical 6 month date (June) to grieve and get over my lack of ability to have children. I told myself after June, I'd move on with egg donation. I would be ready. June is a month away and I am realizing I may not be ready. I may not be able to give my grief an expiration date. As much as I may hope, there may not be a date on the calendar where everything turns to puppies and rainbows.
This blog post is making me feel a little better.